i thought we were just going to talk....

First of all, I blog at work. I work pretty hard (most of the time) and use blogging as a break from the world of divorce. Our office just moved and we have not had Internet for over a week!!! Can you believe it? i was going crazy. i had to work more! sucks :) now we have Internet and i can go back to stalking the blogs i read and to writing a blog that hardly anyone reads. its good to be home.

so, yesterday was the big day that i went to the new doctor. he is an RE. and he is a a he. i have never had a male doctor in my life (except dentists). it was a little weird but he came highly recommended. he was very very nice and answered all of the questions i came armed with, nicely typed up and categorized (i am a total "J"). He decided that he wanted to see my insides at that moment. ummm what? i wasnt prepared. i thought it was just going to be a hi how are you, lets work together kinda appointment. nope. i had my very first ultra sound. i have to say it was so cool. the lady, nancy i think her name was, was actually funny and warm and she thought i was in my early twenties, gotta love her.
She showed me my uterus and my what did she call it pocket or something cavity i think. She said they looked great! then she showed me the follicle, i had never seen one before. she said it was at 17 mm and that it looked great! i was worried because of the pcos but when the doctor looked at it he said it looked great and didnt look like a pcos folli. groovy!

he said that even though the spermies are not great, might as well use them one more time and then if didnt work, we would go from there.

i am set for an ultrasound tomorrow morning and if i havent matured then i get a shot. aacckkkkk. i havent shared this i dont think, i freakin HATE shots. not like normal people hate shots, i am petrified of them. i think of the needle being inside my skin and just staying there and i want to pass out. oh my god. i have to get a shot. ok. i can handle it. i told A about the shot and she knows my fear. she said, well its for a baby. how can you argue with that? and i am irritated at her that she would reduce it to that. i mean how can you argue with the baby argument. i have a feeling she is going to use that for everything.....you need to do laundry ... for the baby.... you need to clean my car....for the baby.... you need to kiss my ass....for the baby...... fun fun fun.

so if i get no positive ovulation test, its shotsville. i can handle it...its for a baby ....

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

oh! good luck to my former insemination twin! today is her day!!!! i am thinking good thoughts for you!

bye