head feels like it is under water (and aother pic of emmet)

i am sick. i have been sick since friday. fever, aches chills, cough, sinus infection, the works. i hadnt been outside once since friday at 5 until last night when A took me to the urgent care. i got anti-biotics. i hope this works. i had to come to work today. i have two appointments. the last one is at 1:30. then i am going home. i have court tomorrow which sucks even when you feel good. ahhhh nuts!

on to other things, i took my last 2 clomid pills. does anyone know if anti-biotics interferres with clomid? the urgent care doctor didnt seem to think so but i trust all of you more.


good news is i am going to see emmet this weekend!!!!

my friend got a little boston terrier. her name is joan. she is super cute and i am going to puppy sit her tonight! hopefully she will understand that i am sick and will take care of me

bye

cranky pill cometh

i took my first dose of the 100 mg of clomid. i can feel the crankiness emerging. poor A.

here we go again.

first here is another pic of emmet. so cute!!! sleeping in his little sweater! i am going to see him next weekend. its sick, i bought a plane ticket to go see a dog.

and as the title suggests, we are in a new cycle. on to try #4. can't say i am happy about it. but what can i do.

on another topic, it is pretty sad about heath ledger. i wasnt a huge fan of his but i always thought he seemed nice. i just think about his little girl and get sad. every story out there says how much he loved her. it is just sad.

bye

the wii has saved me

the best thing i ever bought was a wii. oh my goodness it is so fun. All i did this three day weekend is watch bones and muder she wrote and play wii. i played wii when i thought my body was in atrophy. it is so fun!!!!! i can play sports! i never knew i could. yippeee!

so today is 13 dpo. FF said i should get AF today, however i always, always spot the day before and that hasnt happened yet. I assume that my luteal phase decided to extend. i think that is a good thing. i just want AF to start so we can start on to the next month!

i came up with a budget. i think i was so unglued this month because the thought of having to pay for another month of this really freaked me out. i sat down and made an excell spreadsheet of A and A's budget. I feel a lot better. We will not be paying any debt down, but we will not be going into more debt. Which is all i can ask for really. This is all if we stick to the budget. i think we can. i hope we can. good thing i already bought the wii.....

so i have to go to court tomorrow, and guess what, yet again, britany is scheduled to be there again! twice in one month i get stuck in court on the same day she is there. arrrggghhhhh. she makes it a zoo. oh well, at least i dont represent her....

bye

bones is the only thing that helps

did i get you with that title? does it sound morbid, or sexy? truth is i have rented all of season one and now i am on season two of bones. i am watching murder she wrote and bones. i like to get lost in killers. what does that say about me? i like that the killers get caught at the end of the 48 minute episode. gives me some finality.

no AF. 11dpo. still have cramps. have bad heartburn. why do i have cramps? i must be getting AF. there is no way that i could have these cramps and not get AF.

I was so convinced that this cycle would work. good spermies, good eggs - 2 of them and it was january! the month we were supposed to start this TTCing nonesense.

i hope we dont have to skip the next month. i have to talk to D about it. but i dont want to do it until i get my period. i dont want to buy a plane ticket if there is still a .00001% chance that it worked.

oh well, i guess this is what i signed up for. lucky me.

lucky all of us!

bye

clarification

i think they are cramps. they are more what is the word, contained? that is not the right word. they seem to happen in one place on one side at a time. normally, i have severe cramps all throughout my lower region. today is day 8dpo and my temp continues to go up. and i am starving all the time. no nausea though. boobies are still sore to the touch.

i guess i will just test on sunday and hope for the best. unless i get AF sooner than i anticipated and then i will just lay in bed for about 24 hours and wallow. joy!


bye

i have cramps

i dont have a fancy witty title. i just have cramps. i dont get it.

it is 7dpo. and i have cramps, they feel like period cramps. does anyone really believe in implantation cramps? i am trying to convince myself that that is what it is but they feel like dumb ole period cramps. could it be that not only am i not pregnant, but my period is coming early!!!

my temp is up. my backaches are pretty severe and my boobs are a little sore. tehy were really sore yesterday, today they are sore when you poke them and then for about a minute after.

i just want a little baby. i know you all underestand. sucks ass

bye

3.5 done

so i had my second squirt this morning. i feel so full of spermies it is weird. logically, and i know this isnt logical, but i cant think of a reason it shouldnt work. the ultrasound and opk test said it was perfect timing. the squirter said my cervix looked ready, the swimmers were EXCELLENT this time and i have two eggs that the doctor said would both release. we all know that even when the eggs are put in you already fertilized it just sometiems doesnt work. it is just so hard to process when someone is a control freak (and i am not admitting that, but who am i kidding). it is so hard to know that i have no way of changing the outcome other than what i have already done. my boss is like me. she went through i think 7 miscarriages, she is one child but was trying for a second. she did iui, she did ivf and it just never happened for her. she is a go getter, i mean she has her own firm and had her own succesful firm since she was 38. she said that this is the one thing she could not make work for herself and it was really hard to let go. she has stopped trying but i think she is still affected by it. it really sucks!

anyway, enough of that. we are thinking positive. go swimmers go!!!!! i would love a libra baby

bye

lots of stuff smooshed into one post

I don't know Cali. I know her through her words, her blog. It is amazing how much you can feel for someone who you have never talked to. I think this plaid is very optimisitic and is meant to be a big hug.

I surged on my own today. I had to go to Court this morning and it lasted much longer than i thought it would. i was getting nervous about missing my iui appointment. i finally got out of there around noon, went to work and grabbed the gold ole opk digital test. i knew that if it was not a happy face, i would have a sad face. i would have had to get the shot. i know the shot is nothing, but to me, you might as well be saying that i have to stick a 10 inch diamter cathedar in my woohooo. wow, that was graphic. and um, isn't it 10 that you have to dialate to? eeekkk.

anyway, no shot. i went to the doc and got the spermies ready to be dropped off at the pool! (i know usually this is a euphamism for something else, but as i have said, i think it makes more sense in this context). D started out journey, at our first insem with 1.4 million little gals/guys. His second was more, this time, 25 million!!!! he rocked it out. 60% motility too. nice!

so it is done. i am crampy but very happy. i go back tomorrow morning at 8:30 a.m. Exciting! then the horrible TWW begins. at least i have the election primaries to keep me busy.

go hillary!!!!

bye

new new new

new year
new spermies (same guy , just new deposit)
new eggies (i have two follies that are ready, at least i think, one is 24 one is 17)
and new puppie!!!! not mine, we got my MIL an 8 week old puppie. so fucking cute. i only know how to put a pic at the beginning of the post so there he is! his name is emmet, after emmet otter's jug band Christmas. who has ever heard of that? not me until i got with A. apparently her family watched it millions of times as a kid at christmas. weirdos.
he is the cutest puppie i have ever seen. A and I spent the entire week and a half we were up north with the puppie. we took it to old navy, and to target and to macy's. it fits in your sweatshirt so its little head is the only thing poking out. i can't tell you how much i am love with this puppie. A and I are having withdraw. In fact, we are going back up this weekend to see the puppie. we are sick. imagine if we had a baby, could we even go back to work?

On the TTC front-
I have gone to the doctor every other day for the past 6 days. My follies seem ready to burst. I have one at 24 and one at 17. i havent had a positive ovulation test. the doctor came up with a plan. i dont get it, but i have to trust him. we are going to do an insemination tomorrow. if i dont get a positive ovulation test by tomorrow, i will get the shot. first one, scared but ready. then we will inseminate the next day.
Does anyone have any thougths? If i dont get a positive ovulation test today or tomorrow, is tomorrow a wasted insemination?

happy new year everyone.

bye